Day 8 – Take My Scars.

18:03 November 23rd, 2016. Just finished running on the treadmill for a mere 30 minutes. It is a start. Burned 246 calories, although probably burned more as I was carrying a heavy kettle bell for about 5 minutes.

It felt good to sweat. Get the toxins out of the body. Cleanse the body. Sweat. Move. That. Fucking. Ass. And. Sweat. Motherfucker. Think of this as your best friend trying to get you motivated in a vulgar yet friendly and endearing way. 🙂

Withdrawal symptoms are still present in the form of not being able to concentrate. I still feel lazy in the sense of not being able to apply my mind to attack difficult problems or issues, as in technical type issues that I have to work on. However, I did notice that when I just push myself to do something and I am put “on the spot”, such as being on the phone and connected remotely via screen-sharing over a web-meeting with a coworker I am able to explain technical concepts and perform the work that I normally would.

I’ve always worked best under pressure. I suppose this type of activity reinforces that. However, if there is no pressure to perform I feel stupid and scatterbrained. In any case, the withdrawal process continues. I exercise, eat well, get enough sleep, and focus on the future to include short and long term goals. STAY POSITIVE. STAY MOTIVATED. NO FUCKING EXCUSES.

From a mood standpoint I have felt unusually positive with all things considered. I have felt lazy, yet I have been able to stay fairly copacetic and content. Again, I get off on making progress. I am goal-driven and strive to achieve. Conquering Adderall is nothing more than a challenge that I will face head on. Failure is not an option.

Let’s do this.

Fed all the lies and desensitized
Taught to believe that it is the way
Taught to divide and exactly why
You’ll never understand my rage

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