Day 1 – Tired, hungry, and pissed off.

16:32 November 16th, 2016. And so this journey begins. If you have found this site then you are most likely well aware of the content in which it contains. Adderall. What was once something that was once so amazing I thought that I could not live without has morphed into an invisible prison that I live in daily. After some attempts to break free of its grasp, I have decided to hold myself accountable for my actions by putting my experiences on display for you to read.

A bit about myself, I’ve always had difficulty concentrating, and yet it wasn’t until I was 34 years old that I felt I had ADHD and that I decided to pursue a medical solution for this. Before this, I found ways to cope with this “limitation” of myself. I would create “to do” lists and update them daily. Said list would contain notes and items that needed to be completed in both my personal and professional lives. This worked. It kept me focused, productive, and on track. I could focus on things only if I was interested in them, if not, then it was very difficult to do. I suppose I might have some degree of OCD? I am very analytical, structured, and organized as well.

In 2014 I returned back to the U.S. after working overseas for 10 years and the new job that I had exposed my inability to focus and concentrate, this may not have been noticeable by others, but for me it seemed clear. This spark is what would later ignite my pursuit of finding something to “remedy” this defect. One thing led to another and eventually I was prescribed Adderall.

I’ll be blunt, I’ve been prescribed Adderall for nearly two years (1 year and 8 months). In the beginning (play epic music) I felt like I could conquer the world if I wanted to – everything was possible. It was more a matter of what needed to be attended to first, and not whether or not it could be done. I’ve heard this referred to as the “honeymoon” phase. Yes, I was head over heels in love, Adderall, my darling, will you promise to stay with me forever?

So let’s do this. I have chosen to quit Adderall “cold turkey”. I am going from taking around 75mg of instant release Adderall to nothing. I should also that there have been periods of misuse, especially during the last 10¬†months where I would take more, sometimes around 100mg, whenever possible in order to meet the challenges of work. My goals are to accomplish the following goals:

  1. Quit taking Adderall.
  2. Exercise daily to fight the withdrawal effects.
  3. Lose weight and get on a strict and healthy diet (in spite of the effects of withdrawal).
  4. Maintain a positive mood.
  5. Stay motivated!

I will be documenting my progress and efforts in this blog. Call it my “how-to” guide to completely destroy and conquer Adderall addiction.

Adderall is nothing and I will never be defeated.

Each little piece begins to stack up
Now suffering under the weight of my choices
And I hardly recognize myself
Somewhere along the line
There stopped being lines at all

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